his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
