i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
