so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
