Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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