im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
