Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
