He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We left the knife in your bed.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
