I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
