Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize