I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
