You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize