I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
