eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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