Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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