Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
