who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
found the other keg... it's in the tree
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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