grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
