id be glad to
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
