who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
