Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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