you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
