You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I know her cup size but not her name....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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