got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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