p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
