my sisters under your porch take her home
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
