every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
