thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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