She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
