My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
