did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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