Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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