There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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