We won't sleep together?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
