i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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