I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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