pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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