Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
