i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
