That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize