It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
