Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
