i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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