We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the day after is always just damage control
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
