so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
