I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They are going to name an STD after you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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