Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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