Joe is yelling at the trees again.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
