Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize