Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need to calm my uterus...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
