can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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