I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
