Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
