She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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