And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
