Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize