So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
