cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
