I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Your penis caused this!
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