Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
