There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize