I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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