"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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