I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
