Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
