If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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