Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I would fuck him just for his dog
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
