Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
