he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
