Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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