But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
