gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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