Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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