we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
