Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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