dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
